An Exploratory look into the Bird Portals of Message Board Communities.
In the era of computer technology with internet access available to many, one of the most interesting discoveries is the use of one’s internet time. Message board communities are attracting people just like you and I and are forming every day across the web. How and why were these communities created and what types of personalties are drawn to them? These are some questions we will explore and attempt to uncover. Once the community has become established, what types of politics reign within? Does the anonymity of a screen name from behind a computer allow certain personality types to develop very different to those portrayed by the person offline? Several years of data collection and research will provide many answers that lay hidden in the text of message board scrolls.
Message board communities have become popularized in two manners. Website’s that featured a chatroom and a guestbook. The need to expand the conversations of the visitors and a place to host the opinions for a length of time. If you were not in the immediate chatroom conversation, you missed the breaking news. Guestbooks were overflowing with comments from visitors who wanted to debate an opinion with a person who left their entry last week. The original guestbook was intended to give praise to the creator of the website. The absolute need to express one’s opinion about whatever the topic may be, abused these guestbooks. The need to interact and socialize online lead to repeat posters who started to recognize each other as a personality and expose the opinion to more people then a chatroom could because the posts were permanently available for viewing. This transformed into the online bulletin board or message board where a community of returning or frequent visitors could share thoughts with each other through text. Now every website has a BBS or a MB attached to it. It’s a tool to keep the user coming back to visit your website, and draw more visitors with their conversations.
What kind of person returns to the same website day after to day, to check in on what others in the community are doing? Some of the traits consist of: #1 You have to have the time. #2 You have to feel the need. #3.You have to like to read and write. What you’re looking for has to be something that is unfulfilled somewhere else in your life. It has to be a place where you feel comfortable finding fulfillment. If we just wanted social interaction we could strike up a conversation with our coworkers, spouses and peers. If we just wanted to meet somebody new and express our opinions we could go to a bar or a social event. And if we just wanted to know what is going on in the world we’d read a magazine, newspaper or watch television. Computers give you the luxury to think about what you want to say, before you react with no pressure to respond. The internet allows you to reach out and connect to millions of users who have common interests outside of your local region. Message boards allow you to connect and interact with others.
Message board communities were meant and built to suite these need. They provide a wonderful source of information and thoughtful opinions of people all around the world who share the same interest as you. They are instant and they are accessible 24 hours a day from the comforts of your home. Many a friendship, marriage or roommate have been found in a message board community. Message board communities are a resource of knowledge and hours of entertainment. If the message board community is used productively, information can be sent across the wires into the hands of the formerly unknowing. No longer must we wait for the news stand. Fans in different countries have transformed into reporters and journalists sharing first hand knowledge about the topics you’re interested in. For every subject, for every personality type there is a place to commune on the web and share yourself.
But don’t be fooled by the Eden of it’s intent. Most communities are operating with the same social dysfunctions you experience off line. Infiltrated by abusers who don’t share the same common goal the community was designed for. And there isn’t another place where the motto of “Freedom of Speech” is more prevalent then on the web. Etiquette and morals are lost within the confines of the keyboard. Tone can not be as easily interpreted. Users are not separated by age, class, or culture. Not all posters are created equal. Just because a person shares your interest, does not mean you have other commonalities. More often then not you will tend to disagree then agree.
The clashing of thoughts and inequality of the users mixed with temperament and personality differences has called for societal laws to be developed. Within those laws are the spoken and unspoken politics the message board operates under. The hierarchy of the message board forms the regulations and guidelines each individual community will tolerate and expect. Sometimes a blatant written policy will greet you at the front door of a message board community with rules so outrageous and discriminatory that only a clone poster can survive. You can not have your own opinion on these types of message boards, you can not be an individual personality you will simply be deleted, edited or banned. There are Administrators, Web Masters, and designated Moderators just waiting to tsk tsk you for any comment that goes against the grain or their personal agenda.
The unspoken politics happen mostly behind the scenes of a message board through emails, PM’s, IM’s and chats. Sometimes even telephone conversations have users discussing each others message board behaviors.
In order to moderate a message board in a large community, sometimes shifts are assigned to the mods. Being a mod on a message board is being in a position of power. Some people are drawn to this opportunity because it fills a void in their offline lives. It’s almost impossible to fairly moderate other posters in a community that you consider yourself a part of. The moderator’s own friendships and biases will lead them to selectively moderate the forums. Many internet hours are devoted by a moderator. Now factor in the anonymity feature of a screen name and the personality that develops because of it. Sometimes it’s just an outlet from the oppression of the everyday grind of life, a hidden place unknowing to your family and friends where you can be reckless and transform into anything you want to be. A mask to hide behind, words that would never be said face to face. Topics that people are willing to discuss in text that would be avoided if you had to face that person and look them in the eye again. Screen names bring out more humor, profanities, attitudes and judgements that most likely would be restrained in a one on one social event. Always factor in “the audience”. You will be received with cheers or jeers by the onlookers of your conversation. Know that there is voyeurism and exhibitionism in every thread.
Weave together those participating factors with the elements and what you will create is more like an Audubon Society with a pecking order in hand. Described below are some of the most common of our feathered friends that you will find flocking and roosting on every message board community regardless of the subject. They are categorized by the types of responses or personality traits they display.
Chicken Hawks: The type of posters just waiting for fresh young Fledglings to join the board so they can hit the reply button and swoop down upon them to make a kill! These are the types of posters who don’t start many topics but compose slights or demeaning replies just for the sake of being mean. They think they are being witty & clever, though always at someone else’s expense. Their easiest targets are usually the Fledglings who starts off with the “Hi, I’m new” salutations. Or, anyone who stands out from the crowd. Targets are posters with different or unique screen names, signature lines, avitars- or anything the Chicken Hawk can use for the attack and kill. Usually a Chicken Hawk as been abused as a Fledglings before and is looking for revenge to heal their own insecure egos.
Magpies: There are 2 types of Magpies. Type one: The Heckle who spends most of their message board time jumping back and forth playing both sides of the fence with no real purpose but to get a rise out of their fellow posters. Type two: The Jeckle who sits on the fence with no real purpose but to disguise their own personal opinions. They are too afraid of the Chicken Hawks and the Legal Eagles to post their real thoughts and opinions. They don’t want to offend anyone in fear of reprise or not being like. They always say “I agree..” With whoever seems to have the power on the thread or the boards. These Magpies could take a Chicken Hawk or a Legal Eagle down if they were brave enough to take the position on the boards that they always seem to support in private.
Lolla-Le-Lous: This is the peacock of the message board community. No matter what anybody on the board writes about, this is the poster who is constantly flaunting that they’ve been there and done it more times then you. Because you only have one feather and they have two! They are always trying to one up somebody with whatever privilege they can brag about that week.
The Ugly Ducklings: This is the “woe is me” poster on the board. They are the exact opposite of Lolla-Le-Lou, but yet the same in the extreme. Their claim to fame is that no matter what crisis anybody may be going through on the board, they will always be able to down and out you. Whatever the topic on the board is, they reign supreme for conjuring up sympathy because nobody could possibly be as ugly as them!
The Pigeons: These are the kind of posters that use your topic for a free handout. The “Me too! me too!” crowd. The thread usually starts with someone asking for a favor.. Pigeons are the very first ones to set up a jump on the band wagon thread, which means many pigeons come and flock to your thread. Pigeons are a really big nuisance because the ultimate result is, nobody can publically ask anybody for anything in fear of being bombarded with pigeon poop on the stoop!
Cuckoo Bird: These are the poster who make no sense to anyone but themselves. And they always think that they are being funny. They write gibberish in the middle of a good thread that has no relevance to the topic. Their claim to fame is being looney or funny with their outlandish posts. Usually people just tolerate the Cuckoo Bird and in doing so reinforce the Cuckoo Bird’s bad behavior by posting “LOL & you’re so funny” to the odd bird’s comments. The truth is, the Cuckoo Bird is funny the first time you hear their squawk, but after awhile it just becomes annoying. Especially since they never contribute anything but gibberish jokes.
Legal Eagles: These are the posters who try to convince everyone that their opinion is fact and should end all further discussion. They are the certified “know it all” in the board community. No matter what the topic, they’re the expert. They also believe that everyone reveres them because they’re the Eagle after all, but the truth is everyone is annoyed by their constant need to be right and wish they would just take flight! This type of poster usually crowns themselves with a moderator position.
Do Do Bird: You know this one, the Do Do Bird is the idiot of the message board community. Whatever the topic is you’re writing about, they just don’t get it now matter how clear you explain it. They don’t get it, they can’t see it and they write a lot of posts in blonde font. This is the kind of bird that makes you wonder how they made it this far? The Do Do Bird exploits themselves with their stupidity. They just keeps hanging around, asking dumb question and making stupid comments and you really just wish they would become extinct!
Blue Jay: One of the loudest and dominant members of the board. The one who rants and raves and stomps their feet over the smallest of issues. The Blue Jay just keeps coming back for more because they can’t let it go. They also cry foul and victim when in reality they are the predators. The easiest targets for a Blue Jay are the Do Do Bird, The Ugly Duckling and the Legal Eagle because the Blue Jay likes confrontation. They like to take on anyone. The Blue Jay bookmarks the thread and checks back often to see if you’ve replied. They often boast proudly and try to rally other Blue Jays to join them in their attack. In the end, it’s all a popularity contest to the Blue Jay and the Blue Jay always has to have the last word.
Mother Hen: This is the poster who’s a regular member of the message board community and everybody seems to likes them. Their contribution is mostly to welcome the Fledglings, remember birthdays and to point out when Blue Jays and Chicken Hawks are being bad. They try to correct poor behavior when they wave their motherly finger in other poster’s faces. The Mother Hen never stirs up controversy but is often lost reminiscing in the good old days of the message board. Usually posters don’t pick on the Mother Hen because she’s been there a long time and has made a lot of friends to defend her like the Magpies. The Mother Hen will never leave the nest no matter what you write, and she protects the message board at all costs, even when she’s wrong. It always come back to the message board with this bird, meaning it’s her nest, it’s her home no one should dare violate it. She spends a lot of time behind the scenes trying to rid the message board of pesky Blue Jays & Pigeons. On a lot of boards, this type of poster may be a moderator.
The Vulture: Is the type of poster that jumps on a thread after the kill has been made to try and pick on the bones. After a Blue Jay, Legal Eagle or Chicken Hawk has taken down it’s prey ,The Vulture circles down to put their 2 cents in. They are not loud or brave enough to try and take down a prey by themselves so they come after and try to share in the meal. Vultures are tolerated because they don’t start trouble, they are just Johnny come lately’s who were never in the conversation and people wonder “Who are you? Where did you come from? And why are you in it?” They always wait patiently in the air circling until the battle is over and the blood has been spilled so they can be counted on the winning side. These are shiesty posters who spend a great deal of time lurking.
The Dove: This poster is the peace maker and the holier than thou presence on the message board community. This poster would never do anything wrong and is shocked by everything you write! When the Dove’s not blushing, they’re holding out the olive leaf with posts that say “play nice”. But don’t be fooled, the Dove is usually a dirty bird in chatrooms and emails. You would never think it would come from the Dove, but those white feathers are just a mask they wear in public to gain acceptance in the community.
The Parrot: The parrot likes to look good in the webmaster’s eye so they spend a great deal of time tattle tailing to the moderators or the webmaster about the on goings of the message board. They have the home phone numbers of these folks on their speed dials. The parrot likes to repeat conversations but often does not retell the whole story. To the average bird, they are seen as trouble makers and are sketchy users because they are not always reliable, but nobody will talk bad about the parrot in public because they are sitting on the webmaster’s shoulder. They can post whatever they want without fear of retribution and they never even bother trying to defend themselves. As long as they have the power of the board convinced that they are do gooders, the parrot is riding high.
Swamp Birds: Swamp Birds are not to be confused with The Ugly Ducklings. The Swamp Bird is high on themselves, but low on everybody else. Every post they write has a pessimistic tone. They are not woe is me, they are woe is you or us. They can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, everything always takes too long, costs too much, they are always complaining and they are always let down. No matter what you write about, they always point out that the bird feeder is half empty and there’s a cat in the woods. The Swamp Bird can never seem to prevent themselves from posting the negative side. They accumulate many post and they assume the other birds like them because they are active, but the constant dismal gloom of doom over the head of every topic is just raining on every bird’s parade. They bring the whole morale of the message board down and a lot of birds don’t come back if there is a Swamp Bird around.
Night Owls: These are the posters who either live overseas or are insomniacs. They hunt at night & make a lot of posts around 3am. They can post whatever they want because by the time you see it, it is 12 hours later and you know you’ll have to wait 12 more hours for them to see your response. It’s impossible to debate with Night Owls because there’s always on a delay. Owls also have the first opportunities to post breaking news. People usually wake up to find out the Night Owl has already informed the message board community. This makes them popular among the other birds, it’s safe to say with all the complications of time differences, there’s always tolerance for one Night Owl on every board.
Mocking Birds: They are the fakes and phonies of the message board community. The ones who use fake screen names to answer their own threads to appear they have more support for their cause, they repeat what’s already been said. Or they’ll use a fake screen names because they are too insecure to argue their point under their known screen names. Nobody wants a Mocking Bird around but are sometimes hard to detect by inexperienced users.
Goose: Tend to exaggerate all of their comments and experiences. They are the king of BS. They’d be bold face liars if there wasn’t some little truth to expand on in there posts. These birds are usually looking for some type of glory and response. They want to be famous among the message board community. Everyone knows they are full of it and their bad behavior is often reinforced by Pigeon replies such as “how excellent for you!” Geese are sometimes tolerated for their tall tales as entertainment by the Do Do Birds and the Cuckoo Birds.
The Migrators: These are the kind of birds who show up and are not fooled by anything. They are not embraced in the politics of the message board community but are able to detect all kinds of birds and their apparent behaviors because they’ve flown around a lot of neighborhoods. They are a fledgling on your board but are really seasoned migrators They’ve traveled to your community from somewhere else thus recognizing the patterns you fly in. Nobody likes these birds. They upset the balance of the whole community because they often point out all the tricks of the trade and no one likes to be told by a fledgling/migrator anything! They are the one poster who speaks up on every topic because they have nothing to lose and nothing to fear being a migrator, they know they won’t be accepted so they don’t make plans to stick around. But watch out because they will return when the weather grows cold for a temporary stay, next season.
Sparrows: These are the every day users who blend in, don’t cause any trouble, socialize with everyone so they are easily tolerated and accepted. Sparrows tend to be a bit boring if there are too many of them. Sparrows accumulate many posts but don’t really have much to say. Their contribution to the community is that they are always, around and make up the majority of the community. The audience so to speak. These birds are big readers. They read every post and respond selectively.
Chickadees: Chickadees are members of the audience but they have a different agenda. Chickadees tend to be annoying because they use the message board to have one line chats with other chickadees. A few chickadees at the feeder can take over and spend a long time talking about nothing. Their idle chatter back and forth is exclusive to their own kind. Chickadees talk short and fast and usually congregate together. At the end of an hour a chickadee can rack up 100 posts easily from using a message board as a chatroom with fellow chickadees. They are exhibitionist who perform for the Sparrows. Chickadees tend to write more then they read, they avoid lengthy posts and topics that call for opinion, debate or thought in their replies. Chickadees lack respect for other birds at the feeder but are popular because they are recognized by their screen names and their abundance of posts.
Fledgling: This is a brand new poster to the message board. Sometimes a Fledgling has just arrived and writes a post without testing the waters. Other times a Fledgling has been lurking for weeks or months just reading the board before they write their first contribution. Fledglings usually have a hard time fitting in, are shy about sharing their opinions or just the opposite. Their first post will be some obnoxious reply because they know the Chicken Hawks are out there. Everyone is a Fledgling at one point or another but nobody seems to remember when they were one. Fledglings are not received with a lot of respect because the other birds are skeptical of their intent at the feeder. A Fledgling & a Blue Jay can write the exact same post and the Fledgling will receive no responses from the Sparrows while the Blue Jay will receive tons, on screen name recognition alone.
Kakapo: These birds have roost on the message board longer then anyone else. Their contribution is not always pertinent. These posters have seniority and are usually well known amongst the community. Some Kakapo’s have long since lost interest on the main subject of the message board but can’t or won’t leave. They have an identity through the message board and friendships that keeps them coming back. They are very predictable in their posts. And have no real contribution or purpose. Sometimes a Kakapo is an Administrator Host or Moderator.
Frigatebird : The Frigatebird is easily excitable. They are known for the swoop and dive tactic. They drop in on any thread and turn the topic of the post into some irrelevant personal diatribe. This is also known as hijacking a thread. Frigatebird’s can be spammers as well, writing the same post on four forums on the board. Cutting and pasting to promote their agenda. Nobody likes a Frigatebird. They reroute conversations to suite their own needs.
Raven: This stalking bird is usually more interested in the users then they are the subject. Most of the time they focus on one particular bird. Ravens comment after you on every post either with praise or contempt. The victim bird often feels like they are being followed around the message board, or that they are being stalked by a Raven. This is when a kiss up can be just as annoying as a cut down. Ravens can be pretty scary at times because you can never tell what their true intent is. Ravens will usually contact you by email and try to get you to indulge in more personal information about yourself. The only tactic that will bring any success is to ignore the Raven. But beware when they are not posting, they are usually lurking trying to single out their next prey.
Humming Bird: These are one of the more positive birds on the board. They flit around from post to post replying with niceties and optimistic tones. Because they’re so small it takes a lot of humming birds to rise above the cackles of the more negative birds. Humming birds are always welcomed and useful because they produce a lot of conversation and have an interesting way of keeping the topic alive. Humming birds are self reliant so they don’t need much back from the board in order to be successful. They just buzz over to the next topic or subject with a merry response.
Sea Birds: These community birds are strictly audience members. They soar over head lurking but never landing. They are avid readers taking it all in. Don't discredit the importance of these members because they never post. Sea Birds are just as much a part of the message board community as everyone else and are swayed in opinion and politics. Sea Birds are one post away from becoming an informed Fledgling anytime they want.
The design of a message board community was intended to replace features that were no longer adequate holding the conversations of frequent visitors to websites. What it has developed into is a place that attracts those who enjoy posturing, debating, taunting and passive aggressive behaviors. There are still many positive uses of a message board community if they are not over populated with selfish, narrow minded, uncaring users .One thing proves true, message board communities brings out the best and the worst. If everyone in the community cared about the community as a whole, they would offer a level of respect to their fellow posters. Community members should police themselves instead of giving that power to somebody else. If the bulk of the users were invested in the community and the conversations, they could contribute many positive attributes to the boards. Thought provoking comments and intelligent debates would replace one liners and diatribes. So whether you are a frequent community users or an avid lurker you should be able to get out your binoculars and use this as a field guide to do some eventful bird watching.
If nothing else, this editorial will bring you clarity the next time you see a response that confuses or infuriates you. You won’t have to take it personal, you’ll just say to yourself.. “That’s just a Chicken Hawk preying on some Magpies or Fledglings.” Or “ There goes that Legal Eagle again with their supremacist views.” And “That posts makes no sense to anyone, their obviously a Cuckoo Bird who can’t contribute in any other way.” “There goes those Chickadees chatting away.” If you’re going to spend hours of time looking at your computer screen instead of out the window, then you’re going to have to do your bird watching online!
*There are many more types of birds not listed here and many of these are not exclusive to one user.
You can discover new birds and add them to your collections along the way.*
Week of October 19, 2003
©2003 Written by the Editors of Acoustic Smiles & Tambourine Blues
A reality check of today's concert experience.
Attending a concert in the year 2003 is like watching an episode of reality television. The behaviors and social skills of each person develop once they become part of this particular group, the audience. In modern day the draw to attend the show, multiplied by the accessability of the internet brings together not just the average teen fan but all ages, classes and personality types. What you get out of the experienced is based on what you put into the experience and many times has a direct effect on the people you share that intimate space with. Shoulder to shoulder you stand with strangers, like castaways on a deserted island, you are forced to embrace your experience with the people around you.
For many concert goers, the backdrop of the show is in a bar or a club. The expectation to socialize with alcohol is as loud as the music. The larger venues especially cater to this social behavior with tailgate parties in the parking lot and beer lines around the corner before the concert even starts. The venues accommodate clumsy drunks with plastic replicas of beer bottles and cups. Many of the events are sponsored by large beer distributors. How does this filter down to your fan experience? The drunken fan who shares your space. This ticket holder has got their personal volume turned up louder then the band, so that the band can hear them instead of them listening to the music. They want to be heard, they want to be seen, they want to act stupid, they want to put on a little show for the audience that surrounds them. Male or female makes no difference, the trashed fan always thinks they’re having a good time because they’re viewing the show through the lens of the alcohol. The trashed fan is simply nothing but a nuisance and a spoiler who literally interrupts the opportunity for the person next to them to enjoy the live show. The stress of an evening out is too much for this fan. The social anxiety absorbs them to the point where they must combat it with alcohol and Xanax. The trashed fan has no respect for anyone, they care not that they’ve spilled their beer all over you, they care not that they vomit or urinate in the aisle, they care not that they’ve bumped you, poked you, grabbed on you, yelled in your face and attempted to mosh on top of you. Public drunkenness from the frat boy to the housewife, is the obnoxious norm at a concert these days, and sadly is the majority not the minority. It’s still a dysfunctional behavior, no matter how acceptable it becomes. Whoever had a few too many, is always standing next to you. Tone it down people, it’s not a frat party.
Taking in a concert is considered a visual experience. Fans attend to “see” the band perform as well as hear the music. You’ve heard the record and now you’d like to watch the band members play and interact with their fans. Bring into our concert reality - the extremely tall couple who always stands occupying the space in front of you. No matter which band, what venue, what state, the "Tree People" have arrived. You think they must have been ancestors of Big Foot, and what is the coincidence that the tree people have met each other and have attracted an identical sized mate? Besides their height the tree people wouldn’t bother you at all except their roots are so firmly planted in the ground. Tree people do not move, or sway to the music. They do not clap, cheer, sing, bounce, or express any sort of emotional concert behavior. And if there is more then one tree couple who have communed to the venue the artist themselves will ask aloud, "Are we in church?" The tree people always have the best posture, and the best seats. They seem to be in the front rows and the fans around them wonder did these statues win these tickets off the radio and are they even fans? They never even applaud the performance. They don’t have a press pass or a camera, so you know they are not journalists. How did they get such good seats and appear so uninterested? Tree people, stay home or move to the back you’re at a concert not a wake.
Speaking of couples, rent a room would ya? Why does every couple at a live show choose that time in their relationship to show their love? It’s like exhibitionism in full effect. They spend more time making out with the object of their desire then they do taking in the show. It’s like what are you there for? They want people to turn away from the band and watch them validate their relationship, which is nothing more then insecurity to begin with. We don’t need to see you groping each other's bodies and exchanging saliva for 20 minutes. Save the bump and grind routine for the privacy of your bedroom not the middle of a music concert. Buy the cd, turn off the lights and make babies at home. Must you be so annoying as to subject the fans next to you to your slob session?
College boy who’s not a fan, why did you come to the show? There’s nothing worse then some punk with left over testosterone flowing, who’s envious of the band with all the female attention they are receiving. Reality check, we know you came to meet women because you’re obviously not a fan. Note: screaming derogatory comments about our favorite lead singer is not a turn on to the women in the audience. Trust me. Stand in the back of the club or at the bar and away from the fans who came to watch the show. You might have a better chance of picking up one of those tailgating lushes with the plastic beer bottles.
Groupie girls get over yourselves! You’re not going home with the band. The days of the “Banger Sisters” have come and gone. No matter how much make up you put on, cleavage you expose, or how many shows you attend, no matter how willing you are to put out, or how long you stand in the front row, or how many times you’ve met and flirted with the band members- you will not be an object of their desire. Band members sleeping with fans is a thing of the past. I know you all saw "Poison" on "Behind The Music" but the 80's are over! Bands of our generation are traveling musicians, it’s their job. With the internet, and reality television and programs like “Punk’d” musicians can’t take the chance that their trist with a fan won’t end up on every website across the net. Tabloid mags and newspapers have been replaced with internet rags like "Groupie Central" and fan dominated message boards. Not to mention STD’s, diseases with no cures and legal battles for the families back home. Many musicians now are traveling with their families. When they do stray or date, it’s with another public figure who has just as much to lose as they do. By the time you become a fan of this band, they’ve already paid their dues and been through their share of after party antics. They’ve got "Playboy Bunnies" at their disposal, reality check ... you’re not getting any! Keep your fantasies at home and don’t annoy the rest of the crowd with your professions of love all night.
There is another concert behavior that portrays miles of devotion to the band and is rewarded with little feedback from the artist. It’s the first to arrive and last to leave fan. The one who drove there 8 hours and stood out in the cold all day 12 hours before the venue even opened so that they could listen to sound check through the crack in the door and watch the band walk by hoping for an impromptu meet and greet. Or the fan that flew 3,000 miles in hopes to be first in line so they can have the best standing position in front of the stage after they’ve waited through all the opening acts. These highly stressful behaviors take a toll on that fan night after night show after show. The stakes are raised and the expectation increases with each new encounter. By the time the band even takes the stage, these fans have been on their feet all day, uncomfortable, running on adrenalin. I hope you never have to attend a concert with a person like this, because you’ll end up tired, hungry and cold, being dragged around for hours and for what? It’s not good enough that you’ve already had your picture taken, autographed signed, been on the tour bus and had back stage passes. The routine this fans needs to go through for their concert experience to be successful is one like no other. This fan is always looking to meet another fan at a show because they’ve already exhausted all their own friends. Ultimately this fan does become “known” to the band. And not in the way they’ve hoped for.
What would reality be without the fan photographer? Someone has to record all of this drama. The fan who’s number one objective is to sneak in their camera and take 10 rolls of film to capture the bands play by play of the evenings events. This person goes through great lengths to conceal their cameras and equipment prior to entering the venue. Most venues don’t permit cameras and recording equipment anymore, but that does not stop this type of fan. This rule breaker plays cat and mouse with the security all night. You don’t even want to know the depths they’ll go to and the places they’ll choose to hide the camera. Now imagine you’re standing next to this person. They spend more time clicking, adjusting their equipment, looking out for security then they do enjoying the show. They are not as annoying as the drunk but they do infiltrate your concert experience. You always feel like you are in their way, they’re always stretching for a better angle and blinding everybody with their flashes. It’s okay to snap a few pics of the band throughout the course of the night, but let’s leave the photography to the paparazzi. Put down the camera and enjoy the show!
Always evident at every show is the pair of teenaged girls who flush with excitement over the thrill of being there live! "Oh my God, Oh my God!" Is the repetitive remarks you'll hear all night as these screamers have to hold each other up before they pee their pants! When they're not almost fainting from screaming out their lungs they are whispering and giggling and calling their friends on their cell phones. It becomes so annoying you just want to turn around and slap their red faces silly. But violence begets violence, so teeny-boppers, save the cheers for the pep rally and try not to exhaust yourselves with the high pitch scream only a dog responds to. Your friends will live if they don't get an exclusive phone call from you during the concert. Call them after the show on the ride home and recap the highlights of your first night out.
So now you know who you have to interact with, let’s find out what more we have to factor into the reality of attending modern day concerts. Ticket prices have sky rocketed beyond the average fan’s pocketbook. The upper class can attend more concerts, and for more established artists then the average teen. Has concert going become only for the wealthy and the privileged? When Ticket Master has decided to auction the best seats to the highest bidder that could very well become the case. You now have to prioritize, which band you most want to see. A hundred dollars in your entertainment budget used to get you and a friend into several venues, now it only gets you into one show, one ticket. Tack on Ticket Masters fees and hidden venue charges to the already inflated price of the show and you’re adding ten bucks per ticket. Concert going has become a very expensive hobby to enjoy an hour and a half of a performance for music lovers. Are we getting our money’s worth? $8.00 for a beer, $10 to park, and $30 for a t-shirt ... of course you’re a cranky fan by the time you take your seat and see the tree people in front of you, the drunk fan at your side and the flash photographer behind you.
Factor in that directions to the venues are poor even with internet map quest, so you’re getting lost on the way there and the way home. Standing room only venues mean you might not see anything at all and end up being physically assaulted, crowd surfed on, slam danced into, suffocated, and have to breathe in the stench of those who’s deodorant gave up many hours ago to your concert experience. It’s looking like you could use a beer right about now, except if you leave to get one after standing there for 4 hours some loser who just showed up and pushed their way through the crowd will steal your spot. You take one picture and security harasses you while photo girl behind you has recorded the whole concert on film without incident. Who would want to attend a concert after reading all this?
The concert experience is not over when the curtain falls, and it isn’t even the highlight of the evening for some fans. Those who have persevered and have an ulterior motive for attending the show. They "Outwit, Outlast and Outplayed" their fellow fans. Now it’s time to wait by the buses to see who will be the "Ultimate Survivor." Will it be the bodacious blonde in the short skirt who’s in love with the LV? Or the diehard guitar idol who jocks the lead guitarist? Wait there’s more. The kid who want to grow up and be the lead singer or the lead guitarist. And the Soccermom with social anxiety who is extremely drunk but encouraged to get a story for her message board friends on the internet. Then there’s the unattractive goody-goody two-shoes who’s got a gift bag and cookies for each band member. Don’t forget the person who thinks because they’ve waited in the bus line so many times that they have a personal relationship with the band members and they are “friends” with them. Note: to those people, friends of the band are not waiting an hour and a half in the freezing cold and they don’t pay to get in, they are on the band’s personal guest list. Loyal & dedicated fan does not mean friend of the band people, so please don’t exaggerated the word friendship okay?
Let us end this saga of the concert going experience with a dramatic literary piece of advice. All of these elements and social behaviors are in some way represented at each show you will attend to some degree. And to those of you who’ve read this and still claim you’ve never experienced any of these things at a show, I assure you it’s because you were either too freaking drunk to remember how annoying you were or you had your camera in your face all night or you were in the front row with your one way tunnel vision romancing the lead singer and were oblivious to what went on around you. Keep in mind when attending a social event within the intimate space of others, there is a rule of etiquette to every outing. Just because you are out to have a good time doesn’t mean it’s a "free for all to act the fool" at the expense of everyone else around you. A little respect for your fellow fan goes a long way. Would you want someone else to subject you to these dysfunctional behaviors and plague your concert experience? Shorten the trips to the bar and draw a line that will not exceed into the personal comfort zone of the other patrons who have paid there way into the venue. Some fans still attend modern day concerts to see the show and enjoy the music.
Week of November 9, 2003
©2003 Written by the Editors of Acoustic Smiles & Tambourine Blues
FUEL
Natural Selection
This is the platinum selling rock band always on the edge of mainstream success, you know from hits like “Hemorrhage” and “Shimmer.” Natural Selection is their latest offering and the band’s third album. After playing and recording together for a decade this quartet of young men with old souls have capitalized on their strengths which include seasoned guitar riffs and angst driven lyrics. The songwriter/ lead guitarist Carl Bell, is the founder of Fuel and the nucleus where the life of the songs are born. Brett Scallions is the voice that delivers the guts and glory and powers on the emotions for every poetic lyric penned by Bell. Long time band mates Kevin Miller on drums and Jeff Abercrombie on bass make Fuel a career band and a brotherhood.
It’s the chilling songs and the prized voice that will lure in the average listener to Fuel. Heavy on guitar and rhythm- no holds bar when it comes to making coursing music for these guys. Themes of relationships shadow over many songs on the new album - Natural Selection. The band is at their best on the song “Die Like This” where Scallions cries out “She said love don’t call on me again, I never wanna cry like this, die like this.” Pleading to the listener until you succumb to his cries. “Falls On Me” & “Million Miles” are single quality and radio friendly although not planned that way according to Scallions.
Hidden in the album are the gifts to the fans. The album opens with “Quarter” a dark and mysterious stomping head banger. The anthem like chorus hypes you to sing along after it’s first audition. “I walk alone - I ask no quarter friend - I walk alone - till I find you again.” Fused in the heart of “Quarter” you will discover piano keys, rare to a Fuel track. Fuel has known success with the addition of orchestra instruments, using this technique on earlier albums. Listeners will find a cello accompanying guitars on “Falls on Me” and “Most Of All.” If Bell didn’t already have the formula for success he reinvented it on this album. The tracks flow easily from one to the next, no skip button needed here. You can hear the Pink Floyd influence frosting the track “These Things” which is the longest song on the album. Haunting and suspenseful, listeners begin to wonder what Scallions will say next as you’re pushed and swayed through the cradle of the song’s tempo and the guitar solos. Bell leaves no stones unturned when searching for just the right ingredients to fill each song.
The five month process of producing the record delivers something for every fan to embrace. “Won’t Back Down” singled off the “Daredevil Soundtrack” reappears on Natural Selection and kick starts the second part of the album. Just when you thought you were gently being comforted into a trance - Bell’s Satan jumps up and yanks you by the neck. Any song that starts off with Scallions impromptu- “YEAAAAAH” has got to be a head banger & skeleton clanger!
Scallions added a lot of his own signature touches to the lyrics on this album. He take what was penned by Bell, a step further and makes it his own. Memorable sounds and growls that die hard fans can detect as a “Classic Brett Scallions lyric.” He wasn’t just hired to front the band for his looks, Scallions’ ravaged natural vocals paired with the uniquity of his delivery style is what’s worth his weight in gold and platinum.
The album Natural Selection would all but be the rare sold your soul to Satan masterpiece - save for tracks seven and eight. The thorns of the rose are these catchy renditions of 80's tempos and guitar power ballads, clashing with Scallions’ raspy growls and groans. The lyrics are relationship engraved and would work nicely laced over raw acoustic stripped down versions. Production pumped too much pop into “Running Away” and Most Of All.” Throw in the one Scallions’ penned offering “Luck” on the table and reverse the treatment. Great sounds and provoking music lure the listener but fall short of lyrical content when weighed for dinning. “It’s cold outside in the middle of the winter and my brain is in the fridge.”
The guys of Fuel have warned “We’ve come to bring you hell” and all the fires are raging within the elements of this record. They’ve promise not to back down or bow in their lyrics but where they really make good on it, is on the live stage. Scallions’ energy blazes like a demon that burns inside as he belts out ninety minutes on the recent tour accompanying their new album. His live vocals are raw and wicked as he aggressively prowls the stage to encounter the audience. Escorting Bell on every song appears to be a new guitar tuned for each track. Bell and his guitars merge and become one under the colorful lights of the smoky club scene. To watch Bell perform is like witnessing an artist create in the moment. The intensity of his playing seduces the audience away from the lead singer at times until Scallions’ vocals swallow you whole and spits you back out. Attend a live show and find your soul entangled with the music. The draw is a blended line, music and performance; bleeding the sins and invoking the spirit of the zealous while simply entertaining the insensate fan.
Review Editors: Jade and Stacia Rose
November 21, 2003
*Natural Selection
Release Date: Sep 23, 2003
*Something Like Human
Original Release Date: Sep 19, 2000
Re-issue Release Date: Sep 23, 2003
*Sunburn
Original Release Date: Mar 31, 1998
Re-issue Release Date: Sept 23, 2003
*Hazleton
Release Date: 03/17/1998
*Porcelain
Release Date: 05/01/1996
*Fuel
Release Date: 03/17/1994
Has anyone noticed that the word “band” has been removed from everything associated with Kenny Wayne Shepherd and his new project? The new website url, the message board, the album, promotions and so on. The Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band that produced three albums is defunct. Kenny Wayne Shepherd is a solo artist now much like a Jonny Lang or a Lenny Kravitz who both have players that pump out the music behind them. These players are secondary musicians who receive little credit in the public eye because they are not part of an outfit marketed as a “band” or a “group.”
There is confusion. Nobody from Kenny Wayne Shepherd’s camp came out to the fans and said “Hey guys, Kenny is a solo artist now.” They kind of left the umbrella up stating “We’re auditioning and hiring new band members ...” as if it was still for the” KWS Band” all the while promoting the solo artist avenue for Kenny. It was also said “Kenny is going to be doing some singing on the next album.” What do they mean “next album” wouldn’t this be a whole new beginning? They dropped the name of the “band” and replaced the lead singer. Noah Hunt has been reduced to a guest appearance on Kenny’s new album with the same billing as Kid Rock received in credits.
This is not the Kenny Wayne Shepherd Bands 4th album, this is Kenny Wayne Shepherd’s first solo album effort. In my mind that is two totally different things and not the way it was introduced to his loyal fans at all. Rob Thomas is currently working on his solo album without Matchbox Twenty. It’s going to be his first album, it’s not going to be Matchbox Twenty’s 4th album and it’s been pretty clearly defined to the fans since day one. So why is this project with Kenny’s solo album so bent and backdoor?
Is it possible it was delivered this way to the fans so the Jedi mind trick will apply if it doesn’t work out? Will they wave their hand and slip the “blues band” back in there with Noah, Tommy & Chris and convince us there was no change? Or could it be that the Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band has maintained a revolving door policy with it’s players and singers so many times over the years that the word “band” stopped applying long ago and what fans were offered recently was more like a duo?
Kenny is clearly being marketed as a solo artists with a new rock album so where does that leave the always humble Noah Hunt? Background player in somebody’s band? Gee it seems to me like he could get that gig anywhere but I guess since it’s family you’re kind of obligated. One would have to believe that these new arrangements downgrading band members will at least open doors for Mr. Hunt to pursue his own musical efforts.
Now that Kenny Wayne has officially dropped “the band” from the name of his recent projects, he’s either going to sink or swim on his own merit and talent. This rock artist offering is a whole new venture for Mr. Shepherd. He has put the Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band to bed. The curtain is rising but is it unraveling more each day? Having an agenda and testing the waters is one thing but making it up as you go along is another. One is a confident path to success and the other is a complete road to failure. Fans are asking, which one is Kenny traveling on?
Stacia Rose 10-1-04
